Mr Whippy, the Blackman, Oysters and a Pokey Hat
by akaeve
Summary: written out of a conversation regarding icecream.


Mr Whippy, the Blackman, Oysters and the Pokey Hat.

"Mr Palmer, I know it is rather hot outside, but this reminds me of my salad days at Edinburgh Medical School. We used to have Wednesday afternoons free for recreational games. It was in preparation for the Services, where on a Wednesday you forgot the rules and regulations and just enjoyed sport."

"And what sport did you partake in Dr Mallard." Jimmy asked, always interested in the good Doctors time at University.

"I carried on with cricket, not that I was any good, but like Eton was always the 12th man. No Mr Palmer, we used to go to Porty Beach. That was the time when Sir Sean Connery was doing his male model and Life Guard. It was always an attraction for the girls. We'd catch the number 26 tram and head down there." Ducky replied, thinking back nostalgically.

"Trams, I thought they were just laying the track in Edinburgh? And where is Porty?"

"They are Mr Palmer, but this was the good old days when we still had a tram system. The 26 used to run from Corstorphine Hill, past the Zoo, and down to Seafield and Portobello…..Porty beach. We would watch the girls while strolling along the beach."

_Now sometimes you shouldn't listen into conversations that don't involve you, but Abby or was it Ducky had forgotten to turn the video phone off, she wasn't really listening was she, but Sean Connery caught her ear and then shock horror the words "Mr Whippy." Now she really did have to listen…_

"Oh yes Mr Palmer….we didn't have anything like Mr Whippy…it was solid, we had other pleasures." Ducky laughed.

"Like?" Jimmy now asked intrigued.

"We would sometimes sit, with a 99 in a pokey hat….the monkey blood dripping down your hand…..the chocolate you would push into the pokey hat with your tongue, and finally when licked clean would bite the end off the hat and sook whatever liquid was left, finally devouring the hat…oh happy days." Ducky sighed.

"I bet it was refreshing on a hot afternoon. But I have no idea what you are talking about." Jimmy now replied shaking his head slightly smiling.

"Oh yes, Mr Palmer and of course you would try and lick, slowly and seductively for the girls." Ducky replied smiling.

_By now Abby was so mystified and horror struck she just downed tools and sat by the phone. She couldn't see Jimmy or Ducky but she could hear…_

"Mother was always particularly partial to a blackman….and usually was extremely satisfied if she got one."

"Dr Mallard…" Jimmy whispered looking surprised, and rather embarrassed, "I mean was that in Africa, when she was on safari?"

"No, Porty beach…..Mr Palmer do you have any idea what I am talking about?" Ducky now questioned.

"No Dr, but I assume you will enlighten me?" Jimmy laughed.

"_Hey Abbs what's up," Tony asked as he entered the lab, "And why are you so intently listening to the phone?"_

"_Tony, I know you shouldn't listen to other conversations but the phone is on…..Did you know that Mrs Mallard had a blackman and she enjoyed?….Ducky says she was always satisfied if she got one."_

"_Wow bit of a goer was Mrs Mallard then, this in Africa?"_

"_No someplace called Porty Beach."_

"_Never heard of it, but maybe I should find out more about this place." Sounds Bohemian._

"_And Tony, the scary bit was when Ducky was, talking about a Mr Whippy."_

"_Now you got me interested." As he too now pulled up a stool._

"Was there anything else your mother liked? " Jimmy now asked, "I feel so silly about my remark earlier but now you have explained, but please continue."

"Yes she liked oysters…."

"Oysters? I always found then salty and I didn't really like."

"Ah Jimmy, you would like these ones….similar to a blackman but clam shaped."

"_So this, is where you are skiving Tony?" Tim shouted at Tony, "Gibbs has been looking for you."_

"_Where's Ziva?" Tony questioned._

"_Lunch, and why are you both huddled round the video phone?" Tim asked quizzically._

"_Well" Abby began to say, "Mrs Mall…"_

"_Bit of a goers, liked blackmen and oysters." Tony answered for her._

"_Together?" Tim now questioned, also pulling in a stool._

"I must say Dr Mallard, I really never knew some of those things existed….it must have been fun or funny asking for such delights. I mean if you did that now, you would be so politically and racially incorrect….not to mention down right embarrassed."

"I suppose you are correct Mr Palmer in that assumption, but I also used to like Neoplitan." Ducky replied.

"_Hey this where, you are all hiding?" Gibbs roared entering the lab, "Vance is going crazy wondering where his agents are….and what are you listening to?"_

"_We are listening to a very interesting conversation between Ducky and Jimmy. Did you know that Mrs Mallard liked blackmen…..just as well Vance never met her…"Abby started to say, and she liked oysters….and the…."_

"_But the good part Boss, is that Dukman says Mr Whippy is too soft he likes it hard." Tony added looking at Gibbs, who smiled a Gibbs sly smile._

"_Oh yeah DiNozzo, you have any idea what Ducky was really talking about? You forget that Duks was in London with Jen and I after Paris…hey and Abbs, I'll buy you a "Bunnies Ears," that should tickle your fancy…." Gibbs laughed walking away, "And McGee….I'll get Duks to talk flying saucers with you," as he walked out the lab._

**Authors Notes.**

A Pokey Hat is an Ice-cream cone  
A 99 is an ice cream with a chocolate flake  
Bunnies Ears is a double 99  
Monkey Blood is raspberry sauce  
A blackman is a double wafer with very soft nougat between but encased in chocolate  
An oyster is a clam shaped wafer shell...the top and bottom hinged with said nougat and chocolate, hence oyster shaped.

Flying saucers are rice paper filled with sherbert shaped like well flying saucers.


End file.
